A thing or two about MBA

MBA-1MBA, the business version of bachelor of history or master of theology, has come under a hell of flack lately. Why? There is some MBA-grad from a hard-to-spot-on-the-map country called Argentina who has written a book to deflate the ‘MBA Bubble’. What’s the name of her book, any guess? Come on, you know I can’t name it. Anyway, as you all know, I love bashing people but this time it’s not out of the desire to bust. It’s just that I have become sick and tired of this ubiquitous, endless MBA-hate-campaign that has taken off after the recession screwed the economy- by the way, it came out a real beast, man!

MBA is too general:                                                                                                           

This argument goes like this: The world has become very complex. In this complex world, MBA is too unspecific in its focus to be of any value. Since it’s of no value then, it’s rather worthless. I can’t believe I am deconstructing this sh*t, but let me please. It’s my freaking job.

First, you have to grant the premise that the modern world is pretty complex. Does it then mean that MBA has become incompatible? Hell, no! To start with, MBA is itself a goddamn product of this complex modern world. We didn’t have this degree in the last century. Sure as hell, Carnegie didn’t have it.

She may now say that maybe it was effective in the early days of the modern world but not now. News: Henry Ford didn’t have it either. In fact, the MBA bubble has taken shape only recently, i.e. in the post-modern world. That it’s a creation of the modern world and has been working well in it until very recently is ample proof that it doesn’t have any tension with modernity or Facebook. It’s just that there’s something more at work.

The Specialization Problem:
This is an even more hilarious argument: Here’s the reason: it’s MBA, Master of Business Administration, not a vocational degree. It’s really difficult to imagine that somebody would make it to any good school without even knowing what the hell this degree’s all about. If you are looking for specialization, go for MS engineering or PHD in ophthalmology. Expecting specialization from MBA is like complaining that Starbucks didn’t serve you French fries when you ordered an Espresso. It’s just not fair- to the coffee, at least!

Another thing: as an icing on the cake, and only as an icing, many MBA schools do offer some specializations now, ranging from finance to marketing. And this is  f**king better a bang than your buck. After all, if one really wanted a finance specialization she should have gone for CFA, which, by the way, hasn’t broken any bank in the recorded human history. You bargained for MBA, god damn it! Remember?

Listen, guys, MBA is by definition a generic degree. That’s why all business schools ask for work experience before they admit you. It builds, nay, builds on, your management skills. You get to live in an ultra-competitive business environment, where everyone from business leaders to academics gets to mentor you. That very setting refines your mind and makes it more business-oriented. Plus, you get to build a lot of relationships. Imagine you knew so many people in high places. But wait, somebody came here searching for specialization? Never mind.

One last thing: don’t expect a place at Goldman Sachs after a post-journalism MBA. One suggestion would be to blame your non-mathematics background instead of the program.

If you’d like me to write for you, simply ping me at bustedbad.contact@gmail.com. 🙂

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